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Secret Admirer

June 12, 2009

Not all traits are admirable. Not all people are admirers. Not long ago my husband informed me that I frequently admire others. Not ever having thought about it before I now agree with my husband; I am a secret admirer.

Inborn traits and skills acquired by considerable effort are usually picked out by my admirer’s eyes. At the top of the list would be:

  1. Confidence
  2. Chastity
  3. Tenacity
  4. Originality
  5. Creativity
  6. Dedication
  7. Passion
  8. A pure heart
  9. Selflessness
  10. Self control
  11. Fearing God
  12. Fearlessly loving people

There are other things that pop out of my mouth when eulogizing those people who happen to cross my path; these are just the first generalizations that came to mind.

Bruce Wilkinson in his book The Seven Laws of the Learner: How to Teach Almost Anything to Practically Anyone” talks about a method that teachers can employ to help their students flourish not only in the subject they are learning but as an individual. The exact term escapes me so I will call it ‘blooming’.

jasmine480There are a few simple steps to blooming another person. The first is noticing something that the other person does well or has put effort into. Next, you find a moment to address the person one on one or off to the side at least. You smile. You use the person’s name. You highlight what you noticed about the person as clearly and concisely as possible keeping it short and sweet. Up until now this would seem like a simple yet thoughtful compliment and nothing more. Then comes the next step. You tell the person how you see that this certain trait or skill will affect their future in a most positive way. You paint a bright picture of their future with well chosen words. When appropriate you can end the encounter with a meaningful touch on the arm or hug.

Blooming someone can aid them exponentially as they maneuver through this thing called life. Here is an example from this morning.

My oldest daughter was lounging around in my room. I asked her if she was bored. When an affirmative sigh was breathed from her shy smile I asked if she would like to make me breakfast. The smile grew, her eyes lit up and she asked me what I wanted. I dictated detailed delicacies and she ran off to get it ready. As I munched my scrumptious morsels I took a moment to bloom my daughter. Here is what I said as I smiled at her across the table, “Raimy, I really like that you got breakfast ready for me today. Thank you! You know, I think that God is pleased that you had such a happy heart as you served. In the future I think you will enjoy serving God and that will make your life more pleasant.” She went on to inquire about what that meant. We had a lovely discussion about God’s will and sovereighty in reference to human volition. Years from now she may not remember our little morning chat, but I am confident that this interaction will affect her.

Why not give blooming a try today? I would love to hear how it goes.

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. June 12, 2009 2:06 pm

    Beautiful! I like your term – blooming. Did it cross your mind that this is actually a form of blessing? (thinking of the five aspects mentioned by Smalley)
    And thank you for filling out my survey.

    • June 15, 2009 5:46 pm

      Jutta – Actually, your post about the blessing triggered this in my mind.

  2. June 12, 2009 10:56 pm

    Angie,

    I think you would be great at writing devotionals for Christian magazines. Ever considered it?

    • June 15, 2009 5:47 pm

      Becky – Yes, actually, I have. I just don’t know how to go about getting in to that kind of thing. I know I would love it though.

  3. June 13, 2009 1:04 am

    Oh my goodness. This is a lovely, lovely, lovely thought. Amazing. God must do this. It’s not possible to be more creative than Him. To think that God does this with me – with everyone … what a beautiful flower of a thought that is. wow.

    • June 15, 2009 5:48 pm

      Anita mi florcita – Yes, I do think that God does do this with each of us in a unique and special way… if we let him.

  4. libzsonshine permalink
    June 13, 2009 12:17 pm

    BEAUTIFUL!!! And yes, I agree with Becky! Angie, you are a beautiful writer who is gifted at moving people’s thoughts, hearts and soul! I can’t wait to see your writing in a published magazine followed by a long career of fascinating books you write while on the mission field!!

    If you don’t know about this lady, Ingrid Trobish, a family friend that impacted my life as a child Ramy’s age….you need to!! A beautiful lady full of wisdom of the ages who was able to touch and move people’s hearts to respond to God’s love in such a graceful and gentle fashion! The world needs more Ingrids!!!

    Check out this link…
    http://www.quietwaterspub.com/public_html/samples/Ingrid_Trobisch_Biography.htm

    P.S. Her books ARE fabulous!! ;o)

  5. libzsonshine permalink
    June 13, 2009 12:36 pm

    P.S. For a beautiful short synopses of Ingrid…you should read the first chapter of her last book, “On My Way Home”, that she wrote as she spent her last days with pancreatic cancer.

    Go here:
    http://www.quietwaterspub.com/public_html/samples/Ingrid_Trobisch_On_My_Way_Home.htm

    P.P.S – I just googled her and found this and was moved to tears!! What a true honor to say, I played at her home and knew her personally!!

    • June 15, 2009 5:50 pm

      Libby – Thanks for the links. What an privilege you had to know this woman. I appreciate your encouragement.

  6. June 14, 2009 8:07 am

    @ngie, this is beautiful! I love it! I love that you dedicated a whole post helping us look for ways to “bloom” others, and I love the way you find so many ways to admire and affirm the people around you. You are a special person!
    Love Birgit.

    • June 15, 2009 5:52 pm

      Birgit – You are a special person as well, my dear. Love to you too!

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