Tuesday Tip #14 – Help, please

Today’s Tuesday Tip is duplicitous in nature. I am going to give the tip and then demonstrate it in action. Ready?

The tip: Ask for help when you need it.

Tip in action: I understand that not all of my readers have had the glorious opportunity of training a toddler to use the toilet, yet, that is the great cross-roads at which I find myself. I need advice on how to potty train my boy. Please, help if you can. But hasn’t she done this 3 times before? You may ask. The answer given through gritted teeth with seething loathsomeness is: yes. It has been my least favorite part of parenting thus far. This coming from a woman who has given birth naturally three times with little more than an aspirin strength pain killer. I am tough people! This part just drains me to the core. If I could give birth to all four of my children again as a trade for having a miraculously potty trained kid then I would do it in the blink of an eye. Alas, this is not an option. If I have had a potty convo with you before then please repeat yourself. I need all the help I can get.

So there you have it, the tip and the tip in action. Feel free to fill my comment box with your sage words.

I will leave you with a visual of the specimen we are working with this time around.

Tyler 2 years old
Tyler 2 years old



11 thoughts on “Tuesday Tip #14 – Help, please

  1. For boys, throw them outside in only a pair of shorts… it worked for one of mine. The fun of “watering the plants” with a built in squirt gun did it. (Of course, that may have back fired… there is a pencil scrawl in the basement sump pump room, “(nameless child) peed in here!”

    Hmm… with the second (also a boy), we took a long trip in the car. Brother, who was trained, had the magic of being able to stop the car just by yelling, “I need to pee!”. After half a day, the second was also chiming in with his need to pee, and he’s been trained ever since. (Of course, this is the child who will escape group chores by needing to go potty – of course the sitting a long time type of potty.)

    This ability to get out of confinements is also what got my oldest trained at night. His little friend spent the night, and he was allowed to get out of bed every time he had to pee, which was like 150 times that evening! Sure enough, my son was bright enough to see this as a distinct advantage.

    Well, number three – we trained him three times. He kept reverting. Actually, I had him trained in how to change his own diaper before I had him trained to use the toilet! He still had a hard time actually finding the toilet in a bathroom and often aims just in the general direction. So, if you come to my house, please look before you sit! I think in the end, we force fed him all the juice and drinks we could, and then sat him on the pot every fifteen minutes. He was hard – too absent minded to think about it. He still is absent minded.

    With my daughter, well, she jumped into it with a relish. We had cement floors and a housekeeper, so we let her run around diaper-less in a short dress. We set a few potties around the house at convenient locations, and within a week or two, she was trained. I was so proud that finally I had arrived as a mother and had trained (well, my housekeeper had trained) a child before age two, and then we flew home. We successfully navigated getting to the toilet in the airplane on time, and she peed. Then I flushed, and you could have heard the scream a mile away! It took a few days and much convincing that this is not a “noisy toilet” before she would sit on one again!

    My advice – try anything, try lots of things, and don’t give up just because what worked on one doesn’t work on this one. And when all else fails, at least teach them to change their own diaper! It sure helps when you are nursing the next!

  2. Annie – I am glad that you found this amusing. :-)

    Carin – Every little bit helps, girl. Thank you.

    Ellie – I appreciate the thorough response. Thank you so much! We had some noisy-toilet-travel incidents ourselves; your stories brought back some memories. The advice was great.

  3. Wait on him… it may not be in the timing you want or are looking for, but for us with Nathan it made all the difference in the world! I really didn’t have many accidents to clean up (maybe a total of 5 or 6) or many pull your hair out experiences… now he was three and I know that maybe older than what you’re looking for… but for us allowing him to dictate the timing worked… of course now we just have the nakedness to work on :)

  4. Well, I’m not a parent, but I’ve helped parents with all sorts of ideas! One of my favs for boys is, to get them to aim “properly”…throw in a 5-6 fruit loops or cheerios and tell him to spray ’em down! :o) It’s a great game!!

    My brother was potty trained by mom, who made fresh bread and homemade cookies on an ALMOST daily basis, threatening that there would be “no more cookies until Andy was a BIG boy!” The very next day she heard the scampering of little feet and, “Mommy, Mommy! Andy is a BIG BOY!!! Time to make cookies!!”

  5. Watch it with the throw stuff in the toilet to aim at thing. It is amazing what they will think of to throw in a toilet next! (But I have three boys, three very creative boys!)

    What worked for us, a few years later, in the aiming department was the total refusal to clean up after him. For a month, we would go into the bathroom, look, and yell, “Hey, little guy! Get in here and clean the toilet! I need to go, and I ain’t sittin’ in that!” It worked. Also making him go in alone and shut the door to pee. That way, he doesn’t see someone walk by in the hallway and turn to talk to him!

    Now if you have any suggestions about how to get an eight-year old to concentrate, I’ll be happy to hear them!

    For boys, over all, our best thing was the whole pee outside thing. Just this weekend, #3 was hiking and needed to go, and sure enough, I heard it again, “wow! I can pee a whole meter, I think!” Just be sure to watch your kid when you eat ice-cream in a store front with full glass windows. That #3 again – he escaped to go pee on a tree – only the tree was a miniature potted plant right outside the window or the ice-cream place in full view of all the patrons daintily eating their sundaes.

  6. Hi Angie, I found you from Joy – the SAHM. I just sorta finished potty training my 2 year old. And a friend gave me some GREAT advice. If you want I can e-mail you the ‘book’. It’s a “train ’em in 3 days’ type deal. I thought, yeah right. But, with consistency, a lot of carpet cleaner and rags, 100% positive affirmation, a ton of patience, and being 100% present (like never leaving their side) by day 2 my little guy was getting it. He’s still not potty trained at night or nap. Just because I’m too lazy to actually wash the sheets every night/nap until he gets it. One quick tip is to set him on the toilet facing backwards, and point ‘it’ down. It’s a lot easier and he can see what’s going on. Good luck!
    chirgies at msn dot com

  7. Angie, sorry it’s taken me so long to write this, and also I have not really commented much at all lately… we’ve been traveling but i am still reading your blogs!!!

    Just a note on the toilet training… Natalie wasn’t really toilet trained until she was 3. I could tell that she was ready but I had to wait until SHE was ready, if that makes sense. WE tried a couple times, and after a few incidents of accidents-just-5-minutes-after-I-asked-her-if-she-had-to-go-and-she-said-no (ha!) I just started asking her every morning, Do you want to wear little girl diapers today or do you want to wear big girl panties? For a while it was diapers almost every day, until she just decided she was ready to wear panties. And yes, we still had a few accidents here and there , especially during naptime, but it made all the difference to do it when she was really ready. She did get treats (one small candy or something) at the beginning but I think it was the “readiness” that was the key and not the treats.

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