Slouch your shoulders. Droop your head. Hang your hands down like limp lettuce leaves. Fix your gaze on the location of your belly button. Curve down the corners of your mouth. Mumble out the following phrase in the most pathetic voice you can muster, “Welcome to my pity party.”
Congratulations! You have just learned the stance of the Belly Button Gazer.
Belly Button Gazeritis – (also know as ‘navel fixation‘) A chronic case of self pity. Symptoms include a critical and negative outlook on life manifest in posture and vocabulary. Due to the highly contagious nature of this disease all precautions to avoid infection should be taken. In the case of contamination immediately seek to selflessly serve a person in need. Repeat if symptoms persist.
I understand that hard times come. I get that there is a time for tears, lament, weeping, mourning and sadness. Yet these attitudes should not mark our personality for a lifetime. There also comes a time for fighting to not be overcome. There comes a time to focus energies on others. There comes a time to lay aside the belly button gazing and lift up our eyes.
Let’s work together to eradicate this pitiful condition. Join in the campaign!
Together we can rid the world of chronic self pity… one belly button at a time.