Some mothers have got it going on when it comes to baby books and infant memorabilia. I am not one of those mind bogglingly amazing women. Oh sure, I have a snap shot here and there, a couple clipping stashed away but at far as detailed archives of my babies’ babyhoods – not so much.

Storytelling is more my style. When I think of a particular instance from the kids’ pasts I tell them. Sometimes I blog about it. We do take bunches of pictures. So the memories are not absent, just not chronicled in an orderly fashion. The kids often ask me to tell them about the time when… and we tell the familiar story together.

An odd thought came to me as I was drawing a bath for my three year old the other evening. We were crashing and splashing the toys into the tepid water. He usually plays until he is wrinkly and purple from the cold, still begging to stay in for “minutes more”. The thought I thunk was: I may get to witness the first time Kaitlynn has a playtime with toys in the bath. My thoughts forked. One trail was the possibility that she has a great bath time at the orphanage and this will be nothing new – I think this was my defense mechanism so as to not get my hopes up. Doubts still came as I know what bath time is like at our orphanage and it is most likely similar. The other trail my mind took was to think about the famous firsts that I did not get to see.

You know, it really was the grace of God that I wasn’t bitter or resentful or even melancholy about these things. It just is the way it is. I will be grateful for the things we get to witness, and those things that have already passed are simply things of the past.

I may not have heard her first word… but I will probably hear her first English word.

I may not have seen her first step… but I will see her take her first step on U.S. soil.

I may not have nursed her… but I will give her the milk of the Word of God and watch her grow from it.

I may not have seen her first smile… but I will see the first smile that is from her just for me.

I may not have given her her first bath… but I may get to see her play with bath toys for the first time.

I may not have been there when her first tooth came in… but I will be there when she looses her first tooth.

I may not have given her her first birthday party… but I will be giving her her first gotcha party.

There are a mountain of firsts we still have to come. Really, I am getting so much more excited about our daughter as the meeting day creeps closer and closer. This precious girl is finally coming to us. Wow!


8 thoughts on “Firsts

  1. Speaking of firsts. When I had to fill out a bunch of paperwork for the school nurse in regards to Allison being tested for gifted, they asked for a whole list of dates of firsts: first smile, first crawl, first step, first word, first roll over, first tooth, first utensil use, first whatever. I do not have a list of these. I think some of them got written down somewhere, but most of them not. I fell short of filling in but a few of the long list. I even had to call up Mom and ask her for her best guess at some of them. At this point, what’s the point? Why did they need to know all that when she’s obviously doing fine and not lagging in any way.

    Have fun with whatever firsts you get. But as you figured out, it’s not about firsts, but every moment you get to spend with her and the memories you will create.

    1. Those are some interesting evaluations, Emily. I am sure they process the data and it tells them something vitally important for their continued studies and plans, etc. Yes, the point is enjoying the moments we have now.

      Love you!

  2. You’ll have a multitude of firsts that will last a lifetime!!

    And I can’t wait for the beginning!!

    Big, big hugs!

  3. you make me teary eyed reading your thoughts. yes there will be many wonderful firsts for your family with Kaitlynn.
    and…glad to know that i’m not the only mother that doesn’t really keep track of their kids’ histories in a book or whatnot. and my kids also love it when we tell them the funny stories about “when they were little”. those always bring lots of laughs and “tell us more”s!

  4. Hi! I’m so excited you’re getting Ale, er Kaitlynn!!! I volunteered at CDA the last two summers and trust me you will be the first to have bath time play time! With 20 some babies baths are a quick in and out thing! I can’t wait to see pics of you with your new little girl!

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