Some mothers have got it going on when it comes to baby books and infant memorabilia. I am not one of those mind bogglingly amazing women. Oh sure, I have a snap shot here and there, a couple clipping stashed away but at far as detailed archives of my babies’ babyhoods – not so much.
Storytelling is more my style. When I think of a particular instance from the kids’ pasts I tell them. Sometimes I blog about it. We do take bunches of pictures. So the memories are not absent, just not chronicled in an orderly fashion. The kids often ask me to tell them about the time when… and we tell the familiar story together.
An odd thought came to me as I was drawing a bath for my three year old the other evening. We were crashing and splashing the toys into the tepid water. He usually plays until he is wrinkly and purple from the cold, still begging to stay in for “minutes more”. The thought I thunk was: I may get to witness the first time Kaitlynn has a playtime with toys in the bath. My thoughts forked. One trail was the possibility that she has a great bath time at the orphanage and this will be nothing new – I think this was my defense mechanism so as to not get my hopes up. Doubts still came as I know what bath time is like at our orphanage and it is most likely similar. The other trail my mind took was to think about the famous firsts that I did not get to see.
You know, it really was the grace of God that I wasn’t bitter or resentful or even melancholy about these things. It just is the way it is. I will be grateful for the things we get to witness, and those things that have already passed are simply things of the past.
I may not have heard her first word… but I will probably hear her first English word.
I may not have seen her first step… but I will see her take her first step on U.S. soil.
I may not have nursed her… but I will give her the milk of the Word of God and watch her grow from it.
I may not have seen her first smile… but I will see the first smile that is from her just for me.
I may not have given her her first bath… but I may get to see her play with bath toys for the first time.
I may not have been there when her first tooth came in… but I will be there when she looses her first tooth.
I may not have given her her first birthday party… but I will be giving her her first gotcha party.
There are a mountain of firsts we still have to come. Really, I am getting so much more excited about our daughter as the meeting day creeps closer and closer. This precious girl is finally coming to us. Wow!