Brushed away. Worthless.
Careless crumbs fall hidden.
Laying in the dark shadow,
Kicked by feet,
That little bit,
Made of the same stuff,
Sugar and butter and yum,
Destined to be swept,
Morsels of trash sit.
Sniff. The dog pants,
Lick. The crumbs gone.
Plagued by a perfectionist complex just tell me you are disappointed in me and I will sit damaged, reeling to disbelieve your words. It happened one week ago. Unexpected, a message came, from a dear person. I suppose it was the surprise of it all that made it so hard to get back up. Stress, fret, anxiety, and fear surrounding the circumstances that brought about the note added to the struggle. Never before have I been so close to uttering the Q word.
Quit? Are you crazy?
I think I was a bit out of my mind. My soul gripped me like a climber that slips and then dangles by that tiny little rope. With sweaty hands slipping and trying again I was brought back to sanity. My, that sounds dramatic, here on the other side. During, though, it is a perfect description. Climbing ain’t easy. Sometimes your feet fail you. I may wish it with all my heart but the truth is I am far from perfect. Still, I can’t quit.
True story: There was a lady once who had a sick daughter. She went to get help. Physician says that he can’t help her because there are some other people, his priority, in front of her. She begs for mercy, pleading, trying to persuade with compliments.
He said, “It’s not right to take bread out of children’s mouths and throw it to dogs.”
A dog! He called her a dog! Does she turn tail and run in shame? No.
She was quick, “You’re right, Master, but beggar dogs do get crumbs from the master’s table.”
Ah, all she wanted was crumbs. Just a tiny bit of grace was enough to treat her suffering daughter. Just a little left-over of goodness is all it would take.
Jesus gave in. “Oh, woman, your faith is something else. What you want is what you get!” Right then her daughter became well.
When I feel as though I have been treated like a dog, unappreciated, misunderstood, just plain tired out, crawling about on the floor in the shadows and filth, still He is present.
A morsel of mercy.
A crumb of kindness.
A scrap of hope.
Were it not for His grace where would I be?
Grateful, today, for a God that doesn’t quit, even when I am close to wanting to.
*Scripture quotes from the Message Bible in Matthew 15