La Revelación

The social worker came for the follow up visit. She sat on the couch in front of me, the children busy close around me here and there. She watched. Comments uttered came through smiles and nods. She noticed her improved skin. She noticed how she played with her new siblings. She noticed her confidence. The questions came later after she was able to soak in the pleasant scene before her.

My guard was completely down by this time. After just a couple weeks of having my newest daughter in our home as part of our family I was unsure about what the social worker would be looking for as she evaluated our level of bonding. Had we bonded enough? Was she content with how Kaitlynn interacted with us? What obscure thing would she point out as unacceptable? These and other absurd fears had that tiny little corner of my soul frantic at the thought of this little girl being taken away from us if we didn’t serve tea correctly during the visit. But now seeing the social worker smile I relaxed my shoulders, calmed my breathing and enjoyed the conversation.

Questions to the whole family about our experiences so far were answered candidly. She reassured us and encouraged us that things looked great. Then she steered our thoughts towards the future.

“Have you considered the revelación?”

DaRonn and I looked at each other. We had never heard the term before in regards to adoption. We knew she was a Christian, but the English word for the book of Revelations is Apocalipsis not revelación. Up until now we had only been speaking Spanish. She saw the confused looks we were exchanging so tried her bit of English.

“What you think about the revelation?”

Nope, that did not help. Still that term. I asked her to explain. Graciously she did.

Evidently the ‘revelation’ refers to the moment when Kaitlynn will become consciously aware that she is adopted. The social worker was interested in how we had planned on handling that. Since DaRonn and I had discussed and researched this aspect before we were able to talk with the social worker about how we imagined this unfolding for our family. She added some helpful suggestions and the visit came to a close with relief on everyone’s faces.

Since that day I have been watching Kaitlynn’s personality. She is docile person and very personable. She is smart, complacent and obedient. When I try to think about what it will be like when she finds out I imagine that she will take it in stride. I am not sure yet how emotional it will be. I am pretty sure it will happen in parts, gradually; similar to how children are educated about the differences between genders and all that those facts imply. The information we provide will be age appropriate and we will make ourselves completely available to her as she discovers this marvelous aspect of her being.

I do often contemplate what her feelings will be about the adoption culture in this country. By the time she is able to reason about it there may be some improvements. If things stay relatively the same and we continue on with the work that God has placed in our hands I do wonder what her thoughts will be.

When she looks around and sees children living in the streets begging for food. When she befriends the children at The House of Dreams. When she visits the orphanage she was adopted out of. When she hears us tell of her birth parents and the events leading up to God placing her in our arms. When she contemplates if and with whom she will share such intimate details. What will her main response be? Compassion? Disdain? Pity? Indifference? Anger? Embarrassment? A desire to be involved? Inspiration to help? A burden to pray? [fill in the blank] ??? Only God knows.

I don’t worry about it. It may be comparable to when my older children started to understand the revelation that they are missionary kids. My oldest was only slightly older than my youngest is now when we first landed in this land almost ten years ago. Some of the talks about why and what for and how long have not been easy. I don’t anticipate adoption talks will be all easy either. I do know for sure that I will not avoid any question from any of my children as these revelations unfold. It’s just not my style to shirk or redirect in those moments.

We will talk together, discover together, pray together, cry together if needs be, laugh together and move forward together. Truth be told, this intimate, heart matter stuff is one of my favorite parts of parenting.

Do you remember encountering a ‘revelación’ when you were young? I would appreciate hearing about your experience. You can use the comment space below or send a personal message. Thanks!

4 thoughts on “La Revelación

  1. Hi Angie! I found you through Laura Parker’s blog…sensing the need to connect with other missionary moms as we prepare for long-term service in Eastern Europe (though I am fluent in Spanish and THOUGHT I’d end up in a Spanish-speaking place;)

    I love your perspective and this adoption process sounds like it must have been such a journey…I have been praying a long time about adopting…possibly from Eastern Europe now since we are moving there…Quien sepa…solo Dios…so I loved hearing that from you…we already have two natural 3.5 and 1.5 years old…

    And your comment at Laura’s made me cry…what it will be…we already live far from our families, but it will be much further…so thankful for being missionaries when there’s SKYPE, etc…I know it’s not the same but it’s more than what Hudson Taylor had, right? so nice to ‘meet’ you:-)

    1. Abby, nice to meet you too! Thanks for all the follow love as well. I appreciate you sharing about your life. God is so wonderful! Blessings to you as you begin this journey of full time missionary work in Eastern Europe.

  2. When I think of you friend, when I close my eyes and try to see you in your daily life in my mind… I see you standing at the island in your kitchen, you on one side, and one of your kiddos on the other… or you all surrounding that meeting place in your home in the morning as you get ready for your days… you are so good about intentionally making those communicative moments happen with your kids. You are a mama (and DaRonn is a Papa) who they KNOW they can always come to, always confide in, always ask advice or questions of, and that in you they find the safe place to explore those new things. You set a great example for me my friend :) I only hope to follow well in your footsteps, knowing that your footsteps are always striving to follow those of our Lord! Love you friend!

    1. Laura, you paint a lovely picture. That same island is where we first met. You were carrying grant inside you and you came in and plopped yourself on the stool with a big huff. You took a big drink from the travel mug you had brought. Saludos followed and a friendship was born. I miss you. Thank you for being an ever faithful source of encouragement to me. I love you too!

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