Winner! and the final excerpt

After a month of writing I finished the first draft with just over 50,000 words. My winner’s certificate:

Very happy with the book. It’ll be fun to edit. This evening with one more hour of writing ahead of me I flipped a coin. Heads: a happy ending. Tails: a not happy ending. Fate said tails. Here are the final lines, a conversation between the narrator Geanie as she talks with Rodrigo who has just been released from prison and has to leave the country. I feel I must remind you this is a rough draft and will most likely be subject to strong edits to increase emotion and deepen the verbiage. Thanks for following me in this project.

I reached out my hand as I took a few steps toward him. His eyes widen, he seem startled. His fear melted to a soft grin as he grasped my hand and gently gave me a kiss on the cheek.

His voice, low and hoarse, whispered, “Thank you.”

I bowed my head and then said, “For what?” I laughed a little.

“Thank you for coming,” he started. In the past he would have laughed and shared my joke. Now he just smiled, his eyes remained sad. “I am glad you came,” he added.

“I am glad I came too,” I affirmed. I kicked the dirt unsure what to say next.

Rodrigo saved me. “Do remember our trip to Uyuni?”

I looked up at his face with a beaming smile, “Of course I do.”

“We drove out to the volcano and then we took a hike on that rainy day, remember?”

“Yes.”

“The man told us that the mummies had died because they lived by the light of the moon and then when the sun was born it was too bright and they had to hide from it.”

“Yes, I remember the story.”

“I am like the mummies.”

“How so?”

“I am a person of the darkness. I live and work in the night. It’s enough for me the dimness of the moonlight. My ways are dark. I have to keep running from the sun. I can’t live with the light of goodness in my life. It will burn me alive. Every time I tried to make a stand for what I thought was right I was trampled, beat, and imprisoned. My homeland pushed me away with tragedy. Now I go to find another land as the injustice drives me out.”

He grabbed my arms with his hands and kissed the tears on both my cheeks. The uniformed men came close and he yanked himself from their proximity, and mine.

 

THE END

 

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4 thoughts on “Winner! and the final excerpt

  1. Congratulations on winning! Hopefully I’ll get there in the next day or two…cause that’s all that we really have left. Haha!

    I love the excerpt! It seems like a really great ending! I don’t know what happened, so in context I don’t know what’s going on, but I feel the emotion there. It’s great!

  2. Oh my goodness, you totally got me. i was loving the sweetness of the reunion and then… ouch… that was a very sad ending. i totally feel bad for that poor girl. it was a sweet sad, which i think is the most painful kind, because you cant really be mad at him. i really cant wait to read the whole story. love it!

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